It Is Not April Fool’s Day

Dear Fellow Fools:

The Congressional Bill cited by Mark Richards below is real, not a joke. The 2000 census report showing that the average size of a ward in DC has dropped to 71,500 people is not a prank. (The ward breakdown shows that Wards 1, 2, and 3 are well above that average, and will have to be reduced in size; Wards 5, 6, 7, and 8 are all well below that average, and will have to be increased in size, leading to some interesting closed-door debates, yelling and screaming arguments, and possible fist-fights among councilmembers over boundary changes in the next few months. See http://www.dcwatch.com/issues/rediscensus.htm.) On the other hand, some of the E-mails among police officers that are causing such outrage do seem to have been poor jokes. Channel 5 is the only local news outlet to have quoted any of the E-mails, leading several black viewers to write to that station that the importance of the E-mails is being exaggerated (and several white viewers to write that it is being downplayed) because most of the offensive posts, and most of those using the dreaded “n-word,” seem to have written by black officers. Correspondents to themail have so far taken a very balanced view of the E-mail outrage — so balanced that no one at all has written a word about it.

The problems with publishing the DC web site over the past week haven't been a prank, either. Right now, most problems have been resolved, and the Alan Sager paper that I recommended in the last issue is now available at http://www.dcwatch.com/issues/pbc001005.htm, but themail's archives temporarily aren't on-line. That means that the subscription form for themail isn't on-line either; if you know people who want to subscribe, please ask them to send an E-mail to themail@dcwatch.com including, at a minimum, their names and E-mail addresses. I hope to have everything working again within a day or two.

Gary Imhoff
themail@dcwatch.com

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New World War II Memorial Legacy: Nullify the Laws
Mark David Richards, Dupont East, mark@bisconti.com

This is incredible. Look at the first line of this bill (Senate Bill S.580, introduced by Senator Tim Hutchinson (R-AZ) on March 20)! Just think of all the wonderful things we as individuals could come up with if we had this power! “CONGRESSIONAL DIRECTION TO COMMENCE CONSTRUCTION — (1) Subject to paragraph (2), the Commission shall expeditiously proceed with the construction of the World War II memorial at the dedicated Rainbow Pool site in the District of Columbia without regard to the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969 (42 U.S.C. 4321 et seq.), the Commemorative Works Act (40 U.S.C. 1001 et seq.), or any other law pertaining to the siting or design for the World War II memorial.”

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The Inner Circle Gets Smaller
Dorothy Brizill, dorothy@dcwatch.com

On Friday, Mayor Williams accepted the resignation of his Chief of Staff, Abdusalam Omer (http://www.dcwatch.com/mayor/010330.htm), after months of open public speculation about when Omer would leave. Omer had become a liability for the Williams administration. Rather than making friends and influencing enemies, Omer had picked fights with many community leaders and badly mishandled several major disputes and public issues — development in Columbia Heights, political fundraising, DC General Hospital, and the Union Temple town meeting. Mayor Williams and his kitchen cabinet advisors decided to make the change now to repair the damage long before the November 2002 election. Omer will likely join Max Brown, Williams's Deputy Chief of Staff who resigned a year ago after similar public quarrels and missteps, as a key player in the Mayor's reelection campaign.

Mayor Williams has been interviewing candidates to replace Omer for weeks. Today's Washington Post suggests that Williams offered the position to Donna Brazile, former chief aide to Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton and Gore campaign manager, but it is very unlikely that Brazile would take the position. More informed speculation centers around Tony Bullock, the former chief of staff to Senator Daniel P. Moynihan. Bullock has been working in the Mayor's office and attending meetings for at least the past two weeks. He is a graduate of Mayor Williams's alma mater, Yale, and prior to working for Moynihan served both as Supervisor of the fashionable town of East Hampton, New York, and as a member of the Suffolk County Legislature. http://www.ezgov.com/portal/channels/experts/ezexp_bio.jsp?bioArticleID=2040&channel=Elections&columnIDPrefix=ezExpertElectionsTonyBullock

In addition to Omer, Lydia Sermons, Mayor Williams's Communications Director, also announced her departure last week. Many people believe her resignation is tied to her mishandling of the DC General issue and the public relations nightmare it has become. For those keeping score on the administration, two are down and others will follow.

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Urge the Council to Vote for Urban Health PBC 2 Legislation
Angela Christophe, achristophedc@hotmail.com

To those who support saving DC General Hospital, please call all Council Members to urge them to vote for the “Urban Health Center Corporation Emergency Act of 2001,” which will be voted on Tuesday, April 3. The legislation promotes a restructured DC General Hospital and an integrated primary care system as a better, viable and less costly alternative to the Greater Southeast Community Hospital bid. This emergency legislation supports the PBC 2 Urban Health Care Campus restructuring model and a letter signed by seven Council Members urging Mayor Williams to provide supplemental funding to sustain operations of the PBC through September 30, 2001 to ensure continued care during the transition period.

The letter to Mayor Williams was signed by the following seven (7) Council Members; Kevin Chavous, David Catania, Adrian Fenty, Sandy Allen, Linda Cropp, Phil Mendelson, and Carol Schwartz. I ask that you encourage these Council Members to vote for the legislation to be introduced by Council Member Chavous. More importantly I urge you to call the Council Members who did not sign the letter and let them know that you want them to vote for the legislation. For more information, call 291-5933.

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Mayor Williams
Thelma Brown, Tbrowndc@aol.com

Each and every problem that the Mayor has and each and every failure on the part of the Mayor's administrative staff, including but not limited to DC General, the recent move of the DMV driving exams to Branch Avenue, the tower that was built and taken down, on and on and on, is directly related to the fact that this man is not a resident of this community. During his election he was referred to as a carpetbagger, and as I recall he never denied it. He was in the metropolitan area as a federal employee who lived in Virginia, he moved to the District during his tenure under the Barry administration only because DC law required it and he never purchased a home. He was elected mayor and still has not purchased a home, and instead is looking for the taxpayers to purchase one for him. He is not a resident of this community and therefore, is unable to understand or appreciate ANYTHING relative thereto. Life in the District is academic to this man; we are a managerial experiment. He certainly can evaluate the process at DMV, when a real citizen has to get his/her tags renewed but has he ever had to stand in the lines? He can talk about health care from an academic perspective but has he ever had to go to ANY emergency room in this city without the cloak and dagger of the Executive Office. WHAT DOES HE KNOW about being a citizen? I submit to you that this Mayor is as removed from the experiences (good and bad) and the problems that we encounter as citizens of the District of Columbia as the man in the moon. As a fifth generation Washingtonian I am insulted to say the least that the number one elected official does not by his own choice, own a home in the very jurisdiction that he governs. I am also ashamed that the citizenry placed such a high value on this man's credentials, that the fact that he has/had never demonstrated a real commitment to the community he sought to serve was of no consequence. Well, every time that the Mayor is attacked and criticized I wonder, "Would he have done that if he lived here, or if he were from here?" And I always answer “Probably not.” I say to the citizens who voted for him and who now complain, you get what you pay for. You wanted managerial expertise; well, you got it. I hope that with our next election cycle we can understand and appreciate that we don't need a guest sitting at the HEAD of our table; we need someone who is a full fledged committed member of our family.

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Show Me The Oscars in San Juan, Puerto Rico
Mark Richards, Dupont East, mark@bisconti.com

Friends in San Juan loved DC’s new license plate logo. And yes, I watched the Oscars. As we rushed from the restaurant to my friend’s home along the lagoon and beaches, he explained that because the Oscars are related to his business, he needs to stay informed. My friends and the television stations were proud that a Puerto Rican won an Oscar. The art museum in SJ is beautiful, and their art tells their collective story — social, cultural, and political. I’d like to see a DC art museum. Puerto Rico is a beautiful country/Territory of American citizens. I recommend reading Puerto Rico: The Trials of the Oldest Colony in the World, by José Trías Monge, former Chief Justice of Puerto Rico. Fascinating. And, visit Puerto Rico.

Although not at 100 percent, DC appears to lead the nation in gender equality by this measure: “DC has the smallest differential between male and female pay in the country compared to the 50 states. The figure for DC is 86 cents in pay for women for each dollar men make. Following DC: New York, California, Arizona, Florida, Texas. Worst state is Wyoming where women earn 63% as much as men. Also poor: Louisiana, Utah. [Census Bureau]” From Sam Smith’s City Desk site, http://emporium..turnpike.net/P/ProRev/freedc.htm

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Jury Duty
Katie Mann, kmann@biglizard.net

I had to roll my eyes when I received my summons to federal jury duty at D.C. Superior Court. On the form I was asked what county I live in. I was also asked whether I'd lived in the same state and county for the past year. These were yes and no, fill in the bubble questions. Then I was directed to sign the form, which included a statement that the answers were filled out to the best of my knowledge under penalty of perjury. I really wasn't amused by that part, until someone else pointed out that perjury included willful deception. I answered bureaucratically (i.e., yes), amended the perjury statement to exclude those questions, and noted my reasons for doing so on the back of the form.

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Juvenile Jury Duty
Ralph Blessing, rblessin@pd.state.gov  

Yesterday our 13-year-old son received a summons for jury duty from the DC Superior Court. Has anyone else's minor offspring had this occur? I can only surmise that he got on the list of potential jurors because we had to file an income tax return for him last year. Or maybe, with younger and younger kids being tried as adults, the courts are bending over backwards to make sure those kids are tried by a jury of their peers!

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America’s Main Walking Street
Steph “Frequent Pedestrian” Faul, steph@faul.com  

All the talk about “opening” Pennsylvania Avenue focuses on the White House, as if would-be assassins were lining up to ice Dubya. In the real world, Blair House is a much more tempting target. High-risk dignitaries stay there all the time — Ariel Sharon, for instance, a week or so ago — and are likely targets for known adversaries. What's more, Blair House fronts right on Pennsylvania, so a nice fertilizer bomb could totally demolish the place. All the more reason to keep America's Main Street “closed” in the interest of foreign relations if nothing else.

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DSL Service — Things That Don’t Work
Jo Ann Smoak, Jsmoak@ZPG.org

Regarding your inquiry about DSL, if you want to use Verizon, get a Cat.

A cat is just about as likely as Verizon to pay attention to your requests and needs, walk all over you, treat you like litter, then demand that you feed it anyway, regardless of how it treats you. The person who says Verizon service is poor was kind. Try abysmal. Even kinder yet was his remark that the service technicians are marginal. Clueless is more accurate. He was correct in his assessment that part of the problem is that the technical department is does not set up service calls. That is done by Customer Care. As one customer care rep confided, she has never even used the Internet. As a result, the trouble reports are always, always wrong. And you get the impression that, even if they were right, Verizon wouldn't know what to do about them. The billing, technical, and customer care departments do not talk, and are even located in entirely different cities. Calling for service is a 10-15 minute wait. After 16 service calls since January alone, my DSL line still sounds like I am frying fish. I'm told by their technician that I shouldn't expect any improvement since I “live in S.E., and most people in SE don't even know what a DSL line is.”

If you have Verizon stock, sell it. Or get a cat.

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Correct Quote on Democracy
Clare Feinson, cfeinson@erols.com

According to the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, Third Edition, p. 150, #19, Churchill said, “Many forms of government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.” — House of Commons, Nov. 11, 1947.

Actually, after having worked for both the House and the Senate, I would be willing to bet that the polish on this quip came either from the hand of an articulate speech writer or from submitting corrections to the record -- or both. I use this quote frequently, since it seems to apply to many other areas — like public education, unions, or — dare I say it? — the health care system. But for some reason, I always thought Disraeli said it originally. Ah, well, live and learn

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Norton vs. Brazil: A Dead Heat
Mark Eckenwiler, eck@ingot.org

Inspired by recent comments in themail about Eleanor Holmes and her alleged failure to provide constituent service, I conducted a controlled experiment based on the fact that, months after the election, campaign posters for Norton and Councilmember Harold Brazil remain on the same traffic signal post at 7th Street and New York Avenue NW (NE corner, for those of you playing at home.) At 1 p.m. on March 20, I called Norton's offices and left a message for her chief of staff, Julia Hudson. Immediately thereafter I called Brazil's office and made a request to have Brazil's signs removed. (The person who took the message was Regina Ray.) At 1:15 p.m., I received a return call from Julia Hudson, who courteously took my complaint about the Norton signs and expressed dismay that they had not been taken down last November.

It is now ten calendar days later (March 30), and as of 9 a.m. today all of the signs continue to lend their majestic grace and beauty to the District public streetscape (BRAZIL and Eleanor!). Gary Imhoff, I think you owe Del. Norton an apology. Contrary to your suggestion that she is unresponsive to citizens' needs, I've proven conclusively that she is at least as civic-minded and service-oriented as an at-large councilmember.

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WMATA Names
Ted LeBlond, tedleblond@starpower.net

Maybe I missed it, but why is the WMATA renaming all the metro stops with longer names?

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Help for Consumers
Kathy Sinzinger, EditorCD@aol.com 

The Common Denominator's "Consumer Law" column, written by members of the D.C. Bar, is now available online. Our online archives at http://www.thecommondenominator.com include all "Consumer Law" columns published since 1998 in the print edition of The Common Denominator and are searchable.

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CLASSIFIEDS — EVENTS

“It Takes a Village to Raise A Child”
Madeline LaCore, mlacore@wusatv9.com

You are cordially invited to attend the 8th Annual John Eaton Elementary School Auction, Saturday, April 28, 6:00-10:00 p.m. at the Mexican Cultural Institute, 2829 16th Street, N.W. Sponsored by the John Eaton Home School Association with generous support from the Ford Motor Company Valet parking, cocktails, and light fare. Silent auction 6:00-8:00 p.m., live auction following. Tickets $25 in advance, $35 at the door. For more information call 232-1810.

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CLASSIFIEDS — HOUSING

Available Immediately
Mary Vogel, maryvogel@yahoo.com

Capitol Hill/Union Station. $550+/month, through end of May. Large bedroom, sunny rowhouse, schoolyard opposite, own bathroom. Prefer vegetarian, environmentalist, recycler, nonsmoker, neat, friendly to live with me in a housemate situation until new owners move in May 31. Unit Features: air conditioning, fireplace, gas range, microwave, patio, washer/dryer in unit. Call Mary, 547-7203, or E-mail maryvogel@yahoo.com. 

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CLASSIFIEDS — RECOMMENDATIONS

Cada Vez — Interesting New Place on U St. NW
Phil Shapiro, pshapiro@his.com

On Thursday I stopped by to visit the new technology conference center/restaurant, Cada Vez, at 1438 U St. NW. This place is way cool. The founders, a husband/wife team, have converted the former Masonic Temple into a cybercafe on steroids. Multiple meeting rooms and high-tech everywhere. They have for-profit and nonprofit rental rates for the facility. Nonprofit rentals of the facility are being handled by Technology Works for Good, a foundation-funded nonprofit organization located right next door to Cada Vez. Further info at http://www.cadavezonline.com http://www.technologyworks.org Nonprofit rental rates at http://www.cadavezonline.com/conference/nonprofit.htm. I did a video interview with the founders, Kathy and Ernest Simo, and have put up on the web a QuickTime slideshow at http://storymakers.net/cadavez1.mov. If your computer does not have QuickTime 4.x installed, you can download it for free from http://www.apple.com/quicktime The QuickTime slideshow was created using iMovie, on an iMac.

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