I Want My VH-1Dear Neighbors: A reader anonymously asks: "Does anyone have any information on Dave Clark’s medical condition? Has he been released from the hospital? Is there a time table for his return to the Council?" The answers are no, no, and no. But it’s a good question. It’s really unprecedented that such a senior elected official would not provide information about his health for such a long time. Most politicos would rather lie than remain silent. Yeltsin’s had a bad cold—one requiring multiple bypass. And of course there’s Generalissimo Francisco Franco, whom we believe is still dead. But not a word about Clarke? Very curious. The Post quashed (not squashed) a rumor that he suffered a stroke. But speculation now focuses on whether he’s being treated for mental illness, which would account for the long hospital stay, the lack of public notice, and his symptoms. We really don’t know what’s up—but since he’s an elected official we have the right to know. The Clarke Camp ought to be more forthcoming. ****************** Perhaps there’s some good news for District Cablevision subscribers—according the following news reports. Tele-Communications, Inc.—the owner/operator of District Cablevision—recommends the reinstatement of VH1 in all of the markets where it was dropped from its systems. The capitulation came in the midst of massive customer outcry, orchestrated mostly by the Viacom-owned networks themselves. TCI backed down before a rally in Denver with such VH1- friendly artists as Don Henley and John Mellencamp. VH1 had arranged the event to chide TCI for dumping the network. TCI may also return Comedy Central to its franchises—but then C-Span was the only comedy channel carried by the District franchise.****************** Jim Lieberman found the following floating on the Internet (unattributed) and sent it over for out amusement. Tips for DC Tourists: @ Don’t miss the weekly weenie roasts at the Eternal Flame @ Find and use the dining car on the Metro @ If the cab doesn’t have a meter, you ride for free @ Play a game of handball at the unique v-shaped black marble court on the mall by the Lincoln Memorial @ Make sure to visit the 19th century French Impressionist "Scratch & Sniff" room at the National Gallery of Art @ Give your dear, departed Fido or Tabby a suitable resting place at the Arlington National Cemetery—bring your own shovel @ Help keep the nation’s capital clean: after entering the Metro through the turn style, deposit your used fare card in the trash can @ If you miss your exit on the Beltway, don’t worry. Remember, it’s a circle, so just keep on going around, and before you know it, you’ll be back at your desired exit! @ Trinkets are awarded to anyone who can get the Secret Service agents guarding the President to laugh @ The best way to get to D.C. is to take the Capitol Beltway until you hit the Capitol. @ Flashing floor lights in the Metro signal an oncoming earthquake. Run for your life! @ Cheering is encouraged during oral arguments at the Supreme Court @ Single women should not miss Dupont Circle, where you will find very many good-looking, unmarried men @ For best results, crinkle up your dollar bills real good to "soften" them up before using the Metro card machines @ When taking a taxi, ask to see as many "zones" as possible. This is a delightful way to see the city. @ There’s free parking for Ryder rental trucks next to the FBI Building @ If you get thirsty while walking around town, stop in the Mayor’s office or residence and ask for some Coke @ To avoid blocking pedestrian traffic, press up real close to the person in front of you who is using the A™ @ Going to the zoo? Don’t forget to bring your swim trunks/suit for a refreshing dip in any of the zoo’s conveniently located moats @ Bring your clubs! Wednesday is ladies’ day at Burning Tree @ In all Metro stations, be sure to stop immediately at the top or bottom of each escalator and take a roll call of everyone in your party before proceeding. ////\\\\\////\\\\////\\\\\/////\\\} Also free! dc.movie: Free movie passes, short movie reviews, and movie discussion. Send an email message to story@intr.net to subscribe. Cheers, '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Death of the Commuter’s Best Friend, the Federal Payment? Ending the federal payment, oddly, may hasten a commuter tax. For years, the federal payment has been used by suburban delegations to stave off a DC tax on their constituents. It’s a payment in lieu of federal taxes, but it has also become a payment in lieu of commuter taxes. Walter Washington’s budget director, Comer Coppie, knew this. He counted on suburban anti-tax pressure. First, he balanced his proposed budgets with a payroll tax, commuter levy or reciprocal income tax. Maryland and Virginia delegations rose as one to oppose. They supported an increased federal payment instead. The city then ‘settled’ for a federal payment increase remarkably the size of the proposed tax. Marion hasn’t directly used Walter’s tactic, but commuter tax saber rattling is always near the debate. Now, if the federal payment is gone, what will happen if the control board, or a more effective city government makes a strong case for taxing commuters? Without the federal payment smoke screen, our voting neighbors will have a hard time convincing other members to subsidize them with general federal funds. ----- DC reform and the POTUS Proposal: I favor the Brookings plan over Clinton’s proposal. I offer two additions: 1) That the D.C. department of Finance and Revenue recognize "S-Corporation" status which is an IRS designation allowing for the benefits of Corporate identity and protection, while allowing any profits to be reported as individual income. It is a tool that many independent and small business owners employ, that for some reason the District ceased to acknowledge about three years ago, as best I can tell. When faced with the option of operating in DC and dealing with all of the surcharges and nickle-and-dime taxes, or the streamlined way that our neighboring sovereign states operate, it is no wonder many are fleeing our fine city. 2) A plan which has been tossed about for several years...abolish UDC and allow every student who attends and graduates from a school within the city’s borders (whose family also resides in the District) to apply for and pay in-state tuition for any public/land-grant university in the country (from Maryland to UCLA). If we are a federal enclave, then we should receive some perks other than the pollution of commuters on our streets. ----- Leasing DC to Disney No way — they are too restrictive in how they allow others to use their logo, their trademarked items, their "space" and insist employees dress a certain way and wear earrings that are no bigger than a dime! this would not go in the District at all! ----- Parking Meters I work at 14th and New York, and I’d estimate that at least one-third of the parking meters in the surrounding area have been vandalized. As near as I can tell this doesn’t deter the parking enforcement folks, who simply circulate as usual and give tickets to cars parked at the broken meters. The story in the Post said that the old meters cost $1,000 each and the new ones significantly more. To make $1,000 for the city it would take 4,000 quarters and approximately 165 days of 8-hour parking at 75 cents per hour, but only 50 $20 tickets and a bit more than a week of one ticket per meter per hour. It may well be more efficient and profitable to omit the quarter-collection aspect entirely and just send out parking enforcement on hourly rounds. ----- Decapitation I also read the Post piece about the decapitated meters. As is so often the case with their coverage of the City, I came away with the impression that there was a lot more to the story than we are being told. One thing that was left out of the article was the fact that cars parked at a broken meter can still be ticketed for exceeding the two-hour time limit. Judging from what I have seen around my office, the rash of broken meters have been a revenue bonanza for the city, rather than a hemorrhage. I was heartened to see in the same article that the city is reconsidering the ridiculous exemption for meters given to people with handicapped plates. I don’t mind giving those with genuine needs a break, but the scale of fraud in this area is utterly staggering. I personally know four people with HC plates; all four are able-bodied people who use the exemption of a family member (in one case the family member is now dead). Around my office (between the FBI building and the SEC), virtually all of the cars parked on the street on business days have HC plates. From the number you’d think that rush hour would look like Napoleon’s retreat from Moscow. But no, it’s just suburbanites getting free parking. ----- Balance Books? Another zinger from the DC Government. I was at the DC DCRA Comptroller’s office last week to pick up two reimbursement checks for a non-profit grant program in historic preservation. After a short wait, the Comptroller opened up an old ledger with thousands of narrow hand written lines and searched for my check entry, which was hand written, in ink. I signed my name next to it, and went on my way. Then I thought, where is the $200 spreadsheet program? How can they possibly balance books? And with the water leaks and unrenovated condition of the 614 H Street building, where is the ledger kept at night?! It reminded me of trying to exchange money in a small town in India..… ----- Car Insurance Here are some relevant auto insurance facts, in no particular order: 1. Actually, this *is* the most important. It’s not necessarily how much you pay, it’s how responsive your company is. I’ve found Geoff Collins, my State Farm agent, to be prompt and helpful whenever I’ve made a claim. (Which I did, recently, when my car was totaled while parked in front of my house.) 2. The kind of car you buy has a lot to do with your insurance. Even the trim level, or whatever it’s called, affects the price - sporty versions cost more to insure. You can get relative loss records for almost all cars over the Web from the Highway Loss Data Institute ("Hildie") .They'll tell you, with 100 being average, how likely your car is to be stolen, what its collision repair record will be, and (bonus!) how likely you are to be killed in it. (When I found out that my new Saturn has a theft record of 27, I decided against buying The Club.) I’m told that even the color of the car matters, but I’m not certain of that. Certainly a sports car and a mini van of equal cash value would have very different insurance premiums. 3. The Washington Consumer’s Checkbook may have information on local insurance rates — I think they’re published by DC PIRG or something, and are in the phone book. If you can’t find ‘em let me know and I’ll get out their number. 4. I’ve heard bad things about Geico from people who’ve made claims. But that’s hearsay, and not admissible as evidence. Oh, and anti lock brakes have a questionable safety effect — insurance companies used to give discounts for them, and don’t any more. Also I think the D.C. insurance is less of a burden than the VA property tax, but again, I don’t know, never having lived in Virginia and not being about to start now. ***** John Whiteside whiteside@mindspring.com To Rob Pegoraro, who noticed that GEICO isn’t such a hot deal — I discovered the same thing when I moved to DC last year. Apparently they charge much higher rates for city dwellers than suburbanites, because we don’t fit their low-risk ideal customer profile. I went with Allstate. They have an office on Wisconsin Avenue in Friendship Heights. My bill — for a new 96 pickup with full coverage, a driver with a clean record, and a 20008 address — was under $1000/yr (if I’m remembering correctly) and about half what GEICO quoted. Since then those "call us and save money" ads have really annoyed me. '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Queries Does anyone know what happened on/under the bridge just north of Kennedy-Warren and south of the CP Library on Friday Jan 24, mid afternoon? ----- Need a Running Partner I like to run ~2 miles starting in the Cleveland Park area between 6a.m. and 7a.m. weekdays. Please send an e-mail if you’d like to join me. I could use the motivation. ---- Paul Mamalian Paul.Mamalian@SLMA.COM Can anyone recommend a good community orchestra in DC? My girlfriend plays the oboe and has been thinking about joining one. Any recommendations are appreciated. ----- margie siegel masiegel@consultingwomen.com My HP Office Jet could use a little in home adjusting, cleaning and tune up. Anyone have a reputable and not extravagantly expensive computer service technician? I can’t afford to take into a shop, as I’d lose two days or more of work without it. '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' dc.events Billiards party Jan 28, 7pm - 10pm. Rock. 717 6th Street, NW, near Gallery Place metro. Free Admission, music, dancing, cash bar. We will be collecting used clothing and canned food for Bread for the City. Hosts: Sabrina Rosenberg, Scott Dempsey, Steve Culbertson, Ted Cooperstein, Carolyn Fleming, Kathy Gussman, Karen Hayes, Art Hildebrant, Betty Taylor, and Bruce McBarnette. Bruce McBarnette (703) 404-8429 mcbarnet@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu ----- Pre-valentine’s day party February 8, 8pm - until. Home of Deborah Katz. 6299 North 15th Road, Arlington, VA. Free Admission. Music, Dancing, Desserts. Bring your favorite Beverage. We will be collecting used clothing and canned food for Bread for the City. Hosts: Deborah Katz, Betty Taylor, Jordan Weinstein, Roberta Osei, and Bruce McBarnette. RSVP with Deborah Katz at (703) 534-5375. Bruce McBarnette mcbarnet@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' dc.market Big Fish Design would like to tell the readers of dc.story about "the District," your complete on-line guide to the Washington, DC area. Visitors to our Web site can find all kinds of information about the nation’s capitol. "The District" will list any businesses or events related to D.C. free of charge. And if you have a Web site, we’ll link to it. Check it out at http://www.thedistrict.com Brian Adams Big Fish Design bigfish@thedistrict.com ----- Home Maintenance Services Delbe Home Services is a one-stop resource for all of your home needs. We have been taking care of maintenance problems for over 25 years right here in your neighborhood. Call us for any problems at (301) 652-7201 or visit our web page at http://www.delbe.com for more information. David Burka dhs@delbe.com ----- Office space available part-time, Across from zoo. Large consulting room with a small playroom. Edna Small Erklein@aol.com ----- Car wanted. Looking for a used car in good condition for young family. Prefer a Honda or Toyota, but all suggestions of reasonably priced cars considered. Edna Small Erklein@aol.com ------ discount pass to navigating the information jungle. feb. 25-26, 1997, westpark holiday inn, rosslyn, va. presented by nat’l capitol chapter of assoc. for information and image mgt. i won the pass in a raffle. my rate: $200 or best offer. regular rate: $295 for two days. please respond by phone only. Jon Katz katz@erols.com (202) 362-7433 ------------------- Home PC Computer Assistance I’ll help you choose and buy the best model for the lowest price, get your computer up and running, teach you the ins and outs of Windows 95 and applications, show you how to maintain your system, build special applications for you, and get you up and running on the Internet. 202.244.4163. Jeffrey Itell Story@intr.net ================= dc.story is a discussion group. The opinions stated are the sole responsibility of the authors. dc.story does not verify the information provided by readers. ---------------- For fast, reliable Internet services and cutting edge Websites contact Michael Mann at Internet Interstate mmann@intr.net. Web: http://www.intr.net ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ dc.story—Your Electronic Backfence http://www.dcstory.com Kibitzing by Jeffrey Itell (story@intr.net) Copyright © 1996 by Itell Communications, Inc. All rights reserved |
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