The Mayor’s Latest Poop

Dear Neighbors:

Here's the latest second-hand poop we've picked up on the mayor's situation. Though you can take it all with a grain of salt, Barry's put the city through this nonsense too many times to deserve the benefit of the doubt. What are the mayor's problems? Prostate recovery. (The "Depends" scenario.) Coke Addiction. (Many rumors, nothing confirmed on the record, most people off the record fear the worst.) Night (Pr)owling. (Heard this too, but doesn't coincide well with the "Depends" scenario.) Repeat Offenders. (We hear that the U.S. Attorney is close to wrapping up his investigation of the Barry household. This might have been the triggering event in the rejuvenation scenario.) Depression. (Barry tried to commit suicide. With all these headaches, who wouldn't?) Marital problems. (He's married to Cora. Enough said.)

What happens next? The best case scenario is that Barry takes a long vacation and remains Mayor--or better yet, turns into a head of state, allowing city administrator Michael Rogers, CFO Tony Williams, and Control Board executive director John Hill to administer the city. They've clicked into gear and are now working in harmony. An activist mayor would only harm that.

Other possibilities? Barry resigns and Dave Clarke becomes mayor. Clarke doesn't want the job. Even he knows he's too unstable. And there would be a speedy special election to replace Barry. Likely lead contestants: John Ray and Carol Schwartz. Jack Evans has already announced he would run. Ray would likely win. Ray wants the job and is stable. (So much to ask for.)

Another scenario? Congress becomes tired of this nonsense, yanks home rule, and puts Dr. Brimmer in charge of the city as receiver. I don't see this scenario coming about but others think its likely.

So what does this have to do with the price of potholes? Not much, unless you believe in democracy even in all its ugliest forms.

Cheers,

Jeffrey Itell

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Boss Shepherd

Has anyone in your subscribership ever raised the subject of moving the statue of Alexander R. "Boss" Shepherd back to a dignified location from it's horrible storage at Blue Plains?

Although the "Boss" ran into some flak for overspending - on our city - my reading about him suggests that he was probably the greatest asset Washington ever had. All of those old, and now tall, trees around town were, I believe, planted by his Territorial administration in the early 1870's. Talk of removing the capital to someplace like St. Louis also ended after he cleaned up the worst aspects of the city (e.g., the canal and "B Street" path) and moved significant parts of L'Enfant's plan into reality.

I'd like to see his statue back in a place of honor. Any thoughts?

Dan@ids2.idsonline.com

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Barry

Finally, the truth is out: Marion Barry is royalty and, rvidently, occupies the throne of the District of Columbia by divine right.

Rock Newman, in his May 1 news conference in which he urged the hizzoner, the 'Mayor for Life' to resign, saying, "If that means abdicating the throne, let it be!" Shades of King Zog of Albania.

Perhaps Marion I should follow Mr. Newman's advice and follow in the steps of Louis XV (Citizen Capet) and Nicholas II (Citizen Romanov) and do the right thing.

bill leonard bill_leonard@nih.gov

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The mayor's spiritual retreat. After 20 years, people get tired of kabuki theater. My nickel take is he wants to be out of town while Tony Williams takes the heat for firing 10,000 city workers. Then he can return and say "I am reborn and I would never do this to you". This from a man who urged striking students to "Fight the City".

School systems audit : While it just may be possible suburban children are being enrolled in the DC pre-K and Kindergarten programs, Then this would be supported by a Statistical Bump in the Pre-K and K class sizes. if we see more kids in these then in 3rd-4th grades, then the hypothesis passes an initial test and demographic analysis to confirm the finding should be one. However, given the schools didn't do this, makes me suspect that it isn't there.

National capital services authority? You must be joking. DC is wrecking blue plains and Metro, they'd just wreck the others if it was made a national authority.

pat prb@clark.net

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Cable Television

I realize this is a trivial complaint -- what with the city's financial crisis and on-going Barry soap opera -- but what IS the problem with D.C. Cablevision? Is is really too much to ask for the addition of a few good channels (E, Comedy Channel, History Channel, Ovation)? It's not as if they have to go out and plow snow or fill potholes.

[The Post's District Weekly wrote on this subject last week in regards to a bunch of folks lobbying to restore The Nashville Network. District Cablevision offers the following reasons (excuses) for excluding certain channels: not enough cable slots (they are limited compared with other outfits), demographics (what you may want to see is not what the majority of folks in town want to see), and economics (these channels cost money). Is District Cablevision telling the truth? Would a monopoly lie? Jeff]

Alan Grossberg snowbird@ix.netcom.com

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Traffic

As a citizen of the District of Columbia, and more importantly, a resident of MacArthur Boulevard I have grown accustom to the many excruciating sounds our extremely over-worked and underpaid police and fire personnel bring into my living room each night. As the fire engines, ambulances and police cars whip by, with sirens blasting, lighting up the room as if resembling the dance floor in the movie "Saturday Night Fever", I can't help but think, what if? What if one of these fire engines, ambulances or police cars crash into one of the many parked cars, pedestrians, bicyclists or a runner, like myself.

Sitting there each night with my remote in hand ready to adjust the TV volume to penetrate these deafening sounds, I reassure myself that these are highly-trained individuals who understand the damage a high-speed moving vehicle can cause. After all, they are in route to an emergency.

But recently I have noticed Exxon gasoline trucks making a similar mad dash north on the pot-hole-ridden MacArthur Boulevard. I can only presume the truck has just made a delivery to the Exxon station in Georgetown and is now traveling at speeds exceeding 50 MPH to reach the Exxon station adjacent to the MacArthur Theater. Do the drivers of these trucks realize what the massive steel tanks that trail them so closely contain? If one of these trucks were to enter into a motor vehicle accident, I assure you the vehicles involved would not be the only things destroyed. The explosion caused by tanks this size could effectively eliminate a block of private homes or apartment buildings, not to mention the excessive damage it would cause to our properly paved roads.

The police have made a legitimate attempt to regulate the speed limitations along MacArthur Boulevard approaching the Reservoir, but something more must be done to control these potential suicide bombers. Some solutions to the problem might be to decrease the speed limit for all trucks traveling on MacArthur Boulevard, increase the fine amount for those trucks exceeding the limit or require all tractor trailers to use Canal Road, effectively bypassing the residential communities. Reactionary management does not work; the city must find a solution before people are seriously injured.

John Melnicki JOHNMEL63@aol.com

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Snow

On the lighter side...(and, no, this is not a late April Fools entry or even an opinion on the restricted "rights" of smokers)...the last time I looked, within the last week, there was still unmelted snow in the Carter Barron parking lot from the Blizzard of '96! Seems that DPW, or whoever eventually cleared the streets, created enormous piles of the stuff, in the neighborhood of 15-20 ft. high, that have still yet to melt totally. Sort of like our own iceberg. Of course, there's so much leafy material mixed in with it that at first glance it looks like a mulch pile. The real issue here is whether the culprits got ticketed for dumping the stuff there.

[Snowcaps were melting in Buffalo well into July of 1977. jeff]

Ralph Blessing la3@ciesnet.cies.org

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Merchants

Does anyone know the details of a Barbecue or Chili Festival happening sometime later in May? I heard bits and pieces about it on the radio but wasn't really paying attention. It sounded like fun though.

Jen jennifer.pratt@melpar.esys.com

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Metro

As a change of pace from metro parking and pothole woes (both of which I'm personally well-acquainted with), here's yet another transportation issue. Yesterday morning when I was riding the bus to work, I noticed some signs posted on the windows about secret reductions in bus service being planned by the DC government. Apparently, there are no plans for any public hearings on the issue or anything, and they plan to cut service by have a longer wait between buses. It looks like nearly all major routes would be affected, including buses 30-36 (Wisconsin Ave. to Pennsylvania Ave.) and N2-N6 (Mass. Ave.), with which I am most familiar. People are urged to contact Jack Evans of the DC City Council (724-8058), Arthur Brimmer of the Control Board (504-3400), or Mayor Barry, although I guess the third option is somewhat out of the question right now, to protest and demand public hearings. I am considering doing this but would like to have more info. first. Does anyone know anything further about this?

[The Metro reductions are hardly a secret. Among many areas where the city is reducing its costs is its payment to Metro in its fiscal year 1997 budget. Because of the way Metro funding operates, reductions in contributions translate directly into route reductions/eliminations. Folks have "yelled" about these cuts are the Mayor's town meetings. But, surprisingly, there hasn't been any organized opposition. jeff]

Sarah Lanning slanning@nas.edu

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Washington Mysteries (in honor of City Paper's Clara Jefferys)

I have a tourist/location question. I often run/jog/bike on the Rock Creek path from the Conn/Cath entrance to the boathouse/Watergate and back. At one point during the run to the boathouse, I jog past a fairly large cemetery on the right. The creek is currently between me and the centenary. Immediately at the edge of the cemetery, the paved path crosses the creek, takes a left, and continues on the cemetery side to the boathouse. If you crossed the creek and went strait up the unpaved path - it's sorta a gully, you would be heading towards some apartments in Georgetown. One time I decided to run up that gully and noticed some graves on the hill to my LEFT - very much on the outside of the cemetery. They were, essentially, in the back yard of the apartment building. Does anyone know why they are there? Are they a plot from a family home which is no longer in existence? Does anyone take care of those graves? I have included a kind of pathetic map and hope it makes the conversion. The random graves are at a higher altitude than the jogging path.

xxxx = path
^^^^^ = point to boathouse

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dc.market

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Cassandra Goodell cgoodell@kenan.com

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Jeffrey Itell Publisher: dc.story

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